Marxist Moments

MY PLAN FOR BREXIT

 

          It is only now, in Britain’s true hour of need what with Mrs May’s catastrophic defeat for her Brexit plan in the House of Commons, that I feel called upon to present my scheme, the only one that will spare this country years of rancour and internecine backbiting while falling in with the best traditions of British freedom, democracy and individualism.

          It proposes neither Leave nor Remain. That is, for the nation taken as a whole. Or even for one nationality or another within that nation taken as a whole.

          Instead, it proposes that each of us takes a personal decision to either Leave or Remain.

          I decide to Leave; you decide to Remain, and so on, up and down the land. Instead of anonymous ballot papers in voting booths, each of us receives a pre-paid postal ballot: a slip bearing our National Insurance Number and two boxes labelled Remain and Leave, one of which only is to be ticked by the recipient. This is accompanied by a solemn declaration to be completed by the recipient’s signature and date. There is also the option to reply electronically, directly on-line via smartphone.

          Each of us will then receive detailed instructions according to how we have ticked one or other of the boxes either physically or electronically.

          People who declare themselves Remainers will continue to live their lives as in Britain under the EU; those declaring themselves Leavers will be required to follow particular instructions in the light of (say) a no-Deal breakaway. Thus Remainers will continue to travel to EU countries unhindered at borders, and to continue to enjoy – for example – continental wines and Camembert at the old prices, while self-declared Leavers will be required to show passports, present their returning luggage for HM Customs inspection and pay whatever duty is levied on wines, cheeses, cricket-bats imported from Italy and so on. On the other hand, Leavers will be protected in their UK jobs from incoming EU economic migrants while Remainers will be open to replacement as required by EU citizens seeking jobs and careers in the United Kingdom. Remainers will find purchasing (EU) continental property and settling on it no problem while Leavers will have as foreign nationals restrictions placed upon their continental activities such as property-holding, and having to guarantee a minimum private property ownership valued at £1 million before permanent residence in an EU country is permitted.  

          Rules of a similar nature will apply to every individual business, company and corporation with premises in the United Kingdom according to the decision either to Remain or to Leave taken by their respective proprietors, boards of directors and shareholders.

          Status as Remainer or Leaver will be statutorily reviewed every two years from date of submission, and after the first review, every two years or at the request of the parties concerned, or in either case as the result of a Court order.  Courts will take these stated declarations to Remain or Leave into account in the adjudication of relevant individual court cases and legal rulings. It is possible that a special Court of Settlements will be instituted specifically to address disputes arising from Remain or Leave positions.

          Political parties will not be required to state a Remain or Leave position but to act freely under the law as traditionally maintained.

          Looking at it this way: we generally get along with one another whether we individually choose to be Masons or Rotarians or members of other lodges and societies. Muslim halal butchers serve (in the main) Muslim customers, but do not have a necessarily restricted customer base. Roman Catholics drive our buses and trains. Hindus are QC’s. Religion and other beliefs and practices, if within the bounds of legality, are the private business of those who hold to them, and our society chugs along regardless. Remainers can join together as they wish, as can Leavers, or people can assemble together regardless of being either or none (though it is difficult to know what a ‘none’ position would be, but there we are). Of course there will be stiff penalties if bullying and violence break out as between Remainers and Leavers, subject to the laws already existing with regard to causing affrays.

          No ‘national’ issue need be involved if, instead of (say) Scotland voting as a whole to Remain while England votes Leave, thus necessitating considerable revision of the Act of Union, we merely find that a lot of individual Scots vote to become Remainers while, no doubt, fewer Scots vote to become Leavers, but this places Scotland as such exactly where it was before – inside the Union. And this would be the case even if the opposite result were to come about, since the issue concerns individuals, not nations as such. Similarly with regard to Northern Ireland and Wales. What happens on the Irish border will depend upon the predominant allegiance of the personnel on duty at the time. Thus the border will be an open one at some times, and at others (depending on the balance in the duty roster) it will be closed.

          I can find nothing wrong with this plan and urge everyone reading this to give it their fullest attention and to adopt it.

          The fact that meanwhile I will be emigrating to New Zealand has no bearing on the issue.